miércoles, 16 de febrero de 2011

Tengo frío en el corazón

I have cold in my heart. And do not be how to warm up. Already I have wrapped up myself too much, with a scarf to the chest, which I have fixed with a knot, in order that it does not move. It hurts more than the cold in my hands and in my face, but ironically it keeps me more alert, more alive, for what I think that’s the excellent motivation. I don't know it. I don’t know anything. My conduct deteriorates, as the inherent rain in my soul, which, as voracious storm, advances across my history tearing everything into pieces to his step, included friends, family and dog; it's scares, because it’s a conduct that I had younger, when he was not understanding of any truths that the life had to teach myself - of fact, I believe that I do not understand it and I will never do it, because of it always I have belonged a bit different from the people-. trying to shut in myself, in my work, But it cools more my spirits.
There comes the hour of going out to eat and I decide, rare thing in these days, where it seems that they all take my decisions, in taking a bicycle as the first time in years. To give the return maybe clears up myself a moment and fresh ideas come to me. As I am advancing, every time to a more rapid speed, it seems that the weariness relaxes me. Maybe it was what i needed: to relax physically, since mentally I have not given one in a lot of time. And I center in the route in front of me and forget the rest.
The air strikes my face again and again. The legs begin to hurt me. I open the mouth too fast and the inclement air of the mentioned polar Arctic airs comes to me and I fill to the throat, cooling it and producing a searing pain to me. It is as if it was burning my neck and the saliva was not sufficient to refresh her a second. But it does not matter to me. And I realize, returning in this moment to the reality, of that a tear, the alone one, goes out of my right eye. I am happy, even if it is alone in a few minutes. And I submit squarely to this sensation, hot form in my heart that is growing and wrapping all my body. And I am happy, still when suddenly I am to the shores of the lake, with the right arm stained with blood and scraped totally.
I have cold in my heart. And i don't know how to warm it. I am wet, afflicted, bleeding and full of cold. And more this cold hurts that the pain that burns the body. Because I do not know like warm it ….

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